So much to be said about existing, but my lack of faith shows why nothing ought to be said by me. Here, I have demonstrated nothing more than one man's lack of trust in the Son of God and the promises that were made by a Soul that was faithful and true to Him who sits upon the Throne of Existence.
For at the end of the time it is He, the Eternal one of all Creation, who I strive in my deepest sincerity to show that I am beyond His Existences. Of which, I dare make some sound of my reality... Therefore, it be before all that is nothing more than a mirage living that I make these sounds known to be as music...
In all my hatred, I watch you who dare copy and thieve for your own personal glory and gain before my mind of illusion and delusion. True, I see you make your music serving yourself to the fullest. I am aware, full well, that I have dwelt in my suppression and rejection. I have tasted the bitter pain and utter loneliness and rejection that comes with such isolation of mind; knowing, that I have not made the music for a corrupted wild beast. Rather, I have made my music for the Eternal Creator of Existence (as my deepest intentions have been felt). I have tried my damnedest to show the Creator that I made the most beautiful music of my meager existence for The Creator.
In the end, the jealous rage of seeing you flaunt yourself before all creation is present, and it is with that knowledge of you doing so that I say, "good for you..." As for me, I feel no joy, I feel tired; I feel alone. I feel as if I have failed. The only reason I feel I failed is because I sit here making music in silence while all of the money makers go forth and be known in all the world... I ask myself, are they right? Perhaps, I should strive to show the world that I am a wild beast who is remarkable.
I should say to the world adore me and give me glory. World of man, praise me for I am a music maker of the esteemed caliber. I demand the world know me and the works of my hands. I demand the world praise me for making such musik. I demand the world of the Creator adore me with glory. I demand they say to me that I am the one who pleases their minds with music. I, in all my utter jealous rage and hatred towards all that steal from me and pretend they are adept, demand they respect and give me praise for the works of my hands. I demand it, I desire it, I want it, and I dream of them doing so... However... I say in all my bitterness...
AND HERE IT IS IN MY SORROW AND SADNESS HAVING ASKED FOR ALL THESE FOOLISH THINGS... Here, I say to You, Creator of all things and beings. Here now, I say to You, Yeshua, Eternal Light who shown through me on that rock in the void, in all of the truth of my reality: With my other hand removed from my eye, I say I still feel the way that I do. Despite my deepest desires of wanting to be adored, worshipped, praised, and esteemed by all others, I truly desire to make You the most beautiful music of my soul...
Therefore, let the spirit of righteousness ease the pain of my existence in this self-centered desire so that I may continue making the most beautiful music of my soul for the Creator of all Existence... May my being no longer remember the jealousy and rage of not being adored by those esteemed for their ability to make money and riches --- by those of this corrupted world who say, "now that's music to my ears."
May I always dwell in the solitude and silence of the true music that is made between my soul and You, Creator... May my heart always delight in this Eternal connection of You and You alone...
Now, you ole wild beast, you know my heart, and you know now that I hate your ways and all that you have desired of me. My spirit will starve you of your desires for riches and the fleeting glory from those who care not for the Truth of the Creator. I declare unto you now that God, The Creator of Existence alone is the only one worthy of the sound of my soul...
Now, I have nothing more to say that is of any real meaning to me. May I find solace in Your silence...